I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
