I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
