The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
