I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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