Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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