Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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