Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
