Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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