tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i just google imaged poop.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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