we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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