Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
