New invention idea: vibrating tampons
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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