Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Come on in and take your pants off
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