forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
