they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
