The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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