im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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