I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
