thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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