so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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