We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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