I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
she told me i tasted like america
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
