and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Randomize
