She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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