Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
