i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
