Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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