I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
