When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize