So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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