I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
