jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Blood and glitter go together right?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
