Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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