Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
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