I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
