well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize
