Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
