No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
