Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
