when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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