I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
