He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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