Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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