I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
