now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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