if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You can't just leave with hair like that
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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