Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
