mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
