Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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