Who did Billy Mays play for?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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