i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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