I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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