shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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