trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
