wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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