I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
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You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
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the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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