Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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