there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
