So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
