Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
