I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
