i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I've blown a few things in my day
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I have post one night stand depression
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