Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
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