I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
