I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize