Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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